From one Suzuki parent to another
"Comparison is the thief of joy." said Theodore Roosevelt. How can we stop comparing our child's progress to that of others?
Comparison is the thief of joy.
A dose of patience can calm frayed nerves in the practice room and mean the difference between successful session and all-out war.
Of all the virtues that a Suzuki parent can bring to the practice room, patience may be the most important because without patience, it’s hard to have a creative, fun, productive practice session. Impatience leads to tension, frustration, and unhappiness. And it casts an unhappy shadow on what should be an enjoyable process. Personally, I struggle mightily against impatience.
Being a better practice parent by mindfully balancing competing roles.
I recently wrote a few thoughts about dealing with perfectionism in Suzuki students. Since my own Suzuki child has her own perfectionist tendencies, it left me wondering about how my own ways of helping may be growing, rather than reducing, that tendency. A recent paper^[Ryan Y. Hong, Stephanie S. M. Lee, Ren-Ying Chng, Yuqi Zhou, Fen-Fang Tsai, Seok-Hui Tan. Developmental Trajectories of Maladaptive Perfectionism in Middle Childhood. Journal of Personality, 2016; DOI: 10.1111/jopy.12249] on the…
Suzuki kids can be incredibly hard-working and responsible. They can also be perfectionists.
Last night, my daughter was helping me sweep the driveway. Storms and high winds had left lots of debris in the driveway and she came out to help me clean up. With only a few minutes to spare before bedtime, I told her that we should take care of part of the job and leave the rest until tomorrow. Her response? “No, it has to be perfect."
Low frustration tolerance can lead to dysfunctional practice and impaired progress. Here's how to deal with it.
Practically every Suzuki parent must have experienced a meltdown during practice. When students begin so young, we are bound to bump up against their undeveloped emotional control. Although there are many ways that children can go off the rails during practice, many of these stem from low frustration tolerance. Understanding and dealing with low frustration tolerance is an important skill for us as parents and our kids. I confess that I’m still working on it.
How to practice in a way that kids will listen.
One of my favorite blogs, Plucky Violin Teacher, is hosting a book club for teachers. I’m not a teacher, but I don’t mind eavesdropping a bit for some tips for home practice.
Learning how to harness the power of empathic connection in practice.
After reading the review of Faber and Mazlish’s book on parent-child communication, I wondered if one of the hidden keys to strengthening our side of the Suzuki triangle is the misunderstood act of empathy.
The Suzuki Experience is a weblog focused on helping parents practice more effectively and joyfully with their children. It traces the progress of our experience from beginner to budding young artist.